Wondering
by peanutsfan1929
Summary: Ever wonder what your life would be like if just ONE small thing were different?


Title: Wondering

Disclaimer: I do not own Draco Malfoy, he belongs to J.K.R, I do mention Harry, Ron and Hermione, so I guess I should say I don't own them either. Not that you would believe me if I did. Anything else you recognize is hers too. But the idea for a fic like this and the actual words are mine.

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Ever wonder what your life would be like if just ONE small thing were different? Say, your dad had never quit his job for a better one across the country. You wouldn't have the same friends, the same personality, the same life. You may not have gotten into drugs; you may not be failing English. On the other hand, you may not be playing basketball; you may not even be reading this- but you are- because you were given the opportunity. And you took it.

I never was- given the opportunity that is. If I was, life would be very different, VERY different. Perhaps it would be for the better, maybe for the worse. It's actually surprising to think about, maybe I would be more like him, or better friends with her. Maybe I wouldn't have failed English last year. Maybe I would even have graduated with the rest of my class. Interesting to think about, that's not what happened, but I can daydream…

"Done!" I scribbled my name in the upper right hand corner of my potions essay and took off running. I was due in detention with McGonigal over 10 minutes ago, and I had already lost enough house points this year.

"Hi, see ya at dinner" I called to a friend here, a classmate there as I struggled through the evening crowds. "Sorry I'm lat professor!" I panted, skidding to a halt directly inside the door of the Transfiguration classroom.

"15 minutes" she peered over her glasses suspiciously, but seemed to find me innocent of whatever she suspected. "Very well, take a seat and start scrubbing." I sighed, a Hufflepuff first year somehow blew up a box of sugar quills when he tried to transfigure the bag that the box was in into a laundry basket.

Life is depressing- I go to school, get bossed around by teachers. I go home, get bossed around by family. I go halfway in-between, and get reprimanded by classmates for doing everything that DOESN'T matter at all, and totally ignored when cool stuff happens to me. Life is very depressing. I stood up feeling much better. 'Odd' I thought, 'how scrubbing candy-covered chairs for 6 hours would relieve my anxiety.'

Returning to the common room I didn't look at anyone. As I walked I pondered on my life.

Father- didn't care squat about anything having to do with me as long as I was 'upholding the family honor' and as long as I followed in his footsteps my entire life.

Mother- loved me, but it didn't matter. Because she didn't love father, he didn't care about her, so I couldn't either.

Friends- …

Here I stopped. Who was my friend? Pansy was my girlfriend, yeah, but only because I was rich, and pureblood, and because there was no other choice. She was from a rich pureblood family, and it had been made into writing within my first year of life. I sneered at the walls, 'arranged marriage'. Crabbe and Goyle, friends? I had never really thought about them that way before. They were friends with each other, but they scared off anyone foolish enough to pick a fight with me. Well… almost everyone. I thought about my greatest enemies, Potter, Granger, and Weasley.

If only they knew…

I had been turned against them all from the minute I could open my eyes.

'Potter's = Bad' I grew up learning.

'Weasley's = disgrace!' I had been brought to think. As for Granger, oh, there was nothing against her personally. But what was to be expected from a boy whose first words were 'pureblood' and 'dirty mudbloods'.

After a few minutes of thinking I got up and subconsciously started walking. I didn't really know what to do. I had nothing to do. Never did. My life was boring, useless, pointless, and any other adjective you could think of that meant the same thing as those did, I don't own a thesaurus. And so I wandered, me, friendless and lifeless, through the halls, wondering what life would have been like if I had it my way…

_"Draco! Come on honey, we have to go shopping!"_

_"Coming Mum!" I bounded down the steps of our small apartment, eager to go to Diagon Ally and get my school supplies…_

I slipped out of the fantasy thinking a non-sarcastic 'I wish'. I could tell right now that this never would have happened, never could have happened. But I couldn't help to think- what if it had? Right now my future was laid out before me like the homework due tomorrow. I would graduate; become a death eater officially, meaning I would get the dark mark. And I would spend the rest of my life serving my master, or unless I got caught and put in Azkaban, in which case I would only spend part of the rest of my life serving my master. The very end would be spent in living heck.

'Maybe…' I wondered, 'Maybe… If I was given the opportunity to turn good… to become a spy perhaps… would I?' but now I would never know. 'Cause it's been more than 50 years since that day. Potter killed my master 40 years ago, I spent 20 in Azkaban. And now, I'm once again Draco Malfoy. Not Draco Malfoy; death eater, not Draco Malfoy; Slytherin. I'm just plain old Draco Malfoy. Not Draco Malfoy; auror/retired spy for the ministry, like it could have been. It's just Draco Malfoy, because I wasn't given the opportunity, so I never had a chance to take it.

It's kind of ironic, if you think about it, that just wondering could have told you this story. While were on the subject though, I wonder if the world would spin off it's orbit and crash into another planet, or the moon, or the sun, if given the opportunity.


End file.
